Parenting in Divorce

I have not seen much of Iggy's art lately, which hurts as I watching him create and reading or looking through the work that he loses himself into.  The last art work of his that I was able to appreciate is the comic book that he created with his friend Mason.  I have a scan of it - Kung Fu Granny.  It's pretty funny - an elderly lady - Granny was once a kung fu champion.  She is invited to compete in a tournament and doesn't have anyone to take, so she takes her mailman, but first she trains him.  They go off to China where the tournament is and they win.  As this is collaborative project, I'm not sure how much there is to analyze. Primary points that Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce are: Context is everything.  Consider why Iggy is drawing what he is drawing. Look at how the work changes overtime, consider consistencies over time. The most important element that I can bring to reading Iggy's art is knowing him. Do not interrupt - let him l...

There was once a baby born who did not blink!  His mother did not at first notice that her child did not blink, but eventually as time passed it occurred to her, my son does not blink.  She decided to remain calm and just observe him more closely. Years passed and still she never saw him blink and she panicked!  By this time the boy was nearly four years old!  He seemed like a perfectly healthy boy.  He was smart, well behaved, used his words, fully potty trained, but he did not blink! She took her son to the doctor and finally brought it up with the doctor.  "Doctor, in the nearly four years of my son's life, I have never, once seen him blink!"  she nervously stated.  "What could this mean?  What if he doesn't blink?  What will happen?!" The doctor laughed off her concerns, "Ah, do not worry, your son is a good boy in excellent health.  I'm sure he blinks, you just haven't caught him doing so."  The doctor looked at the ...

Lucas Ignacio volo al espacio A construir un palacio Hecho de estrellas...

Keep in mind that most kids have the ability to work through their issues on their own...  Your child's play belongs solely to him. As I continue through the chapter "Understanding Children's Play and Art," there is a discussion that it is best to not inject oneself into the child's play time - to be audience until invited rather than say inserting one's adult narrative or reality.  The point is to allow the child to explore his own imagination, create his own fantasy.  In reflection, I may not have been very good at this as I always immediately got down to play with Iggy and I'd make suggestions, push his imagination in different directions.  I always enjoyed playing with him and I wonder if my enjoyment of this time with him may have curtailed his explorations.  I certainly hope not and there's not much to do about now as he is 10 years old and already draws so much of his ideas from the popular culture that he is audience to from graphic novels to...

In reading chapter 2 "Bodies to Sticks, Make-Believe to Resolution" from Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce , I felt positive about all the time I have dedicated to being with Iggy as he grew up.  I never had an issue in making him first - making him the priority in my life, above art-making, work responsibilities, no matter what, I found ways to have Iggy be my priority.  I also always enjoyed playing with him, from getting on the floor and building cities from wooden blocks and train tracks to teaching him how to ride a bicycle on the hillside of a Finnish graveyard in Lakeland to teaching him how to shoot a basketball and dribble to practicing his baseball pitching as a catcher even when it killed my knees...  I love having all these moments with my son. As a child to Nicaraguan immigrant parents, my parents had to work hard.  Fortunately, in the 1970s in San Francisco, it was financially possible for my mom to stay at home until I entered first grade and I was...

A couple days ago, I watched "Get Kids to Listen without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling" by Amy McCready and I found it useful.  McCready describes her own tipping point as one evening she went to bed with a sore throat from yelling at her kids as she tried to get them to bed.  She realized that the image of her that they fell asleep to was this raging, yelling mother.  She was horrified by this and went on to be certified in positive discipline. She asked the watchers of the webinar to list their battles and I did so: Not Listening Constantly Negotiating Tantrums End of Screen Time Getting into the Shower Talking Back These are the primary ones, however, the biggest lately seems to be getting Iggy off the screen.  He uses his screen as a form of escape - escape from his new reality as a child of divorced parents, allows him to not have to think about the fact that he no longers lives in a full household.  He like many kids at this time, loves playin...